My Dream

I had a dream last night. I dreampt that I was really really fat. Much more overweight than I am. When I woke up it took me a while to realize that it was just a dream and not real. I guess I had this dream because of my struggle with the diet. I have not been able to adhear to it except for last Monday. So far so good today but today isn't over and I have had to talk to myself all day about why I am doing this.

The urge to eat popcorn or chips while watching TV is strong. I stayed busy most of the day so it was pretty good. But once I sit down, I want to eat. I have 2 Netflix to watch and for me part of the fun of watching them is eating while I do. I'm avoiding movies because of this.  I just need to make it through about 3 days and then the cravings will go away. So many reasons to do this. Not only the way I look but the way I feel. the acid reflux. The fatigue. The allergy symptoms from processed foods. All sorts of other things, I'm sure.

I had energy this weekend more than I have in a long time. I think we may finally be getting the medication right. My thoughts seem to be more motivated and positive. I don't feel as defeated. I can only hope it continues like this. I always have a fear in the back of my mind that the depression will come back, so I hesitate to get too excited when I am doing well.

Sydney was sick for a week. It was hard deciding whether to take her to the doctor or not because it's usually viral. Finally on Friday I took her. It was viral. She is much better now.


I guess that's it. Sort of boring I think. But it serves it's pupose for me.